The Tapey Beercone Kumite

The Tapey Beercone Kumite is an Annual Battle Royale Tournament inspired by the martial arts Kumites of the past. It is the preeminent test of individual skill in the Sport of Tapey Beercone. The tournament pits player against player in an every man for himself contest which ultimately concludes with the crowning of an individual Kumite Champion.

“Kumite! Kumite! Kumite!”

The Kumite Champion will have exhibited comprehensive ability is all aspects of Tapey Beercone, and will be entitled to all of the rights, privileges, and responsibilities pertaining thereto. In surviving the Kumite gauntlet, they will have achieve a feat worthy of honor and praise, and they will be toasted throughout the Buckos Nation. The past Champions are:

Reigning Kumite Champion Aiden “The Gambler”

The Kumite requires a player to exhibit talent in all five facets of the Sport, these being:

  • Batting
  • Running
  • Pitching
  • Fielding
  • Drinking

Throughout the tournament all players will be required to act in the roles of batter and runner, and will be expected to both pitch and field on defense. And unlike in regular Tapey Beercone play, drinking beer will not simply be a suggestion, but a requirement.

At the start of the event each participant will be required to down a beer, and again after each time a contestant is put out, that contestant must drink an additional beer. Once a player makes their third out of the contest they are eliminated. It’s that simple, to win the Kumite, Just Don’t Get Out.

During the tournament, play will fluctuate based on the number of players remaining. In the Initial Stage, the contestants will be randomly drawn into two or more sides, and forced to begrudgingly cooperate during innings of play run under last inning rules. The players on each side will alternate between offense and defense making outs until the players begin to get eliminated on their personal third out. When the player pool is down to less than four to a side, eliminated players will be asked to fill in as extra fielders on defense.

To keep the defense on their toes, the players on offense will have multiple methods to knockout the defensive players as well. If the offense can string together 5 runs in a row without an out, every player on defense will be charged with an out. Likewise, the same penalty will apply if a player scores a home run. And most devastating of all, if a batter can record a Grand Salami, every other participant is reduced to just one out remaining, or eliminated outright if they had just one out remaining prior to the Grand Salami being hit.

Actual physical assaults against one’s opponents are not permitted.

Then when there are just five remaining contenders, the Final Stage will begin. Each player will take a turn batting as their own team under Icelandic Rules, with one simple modification. Instead of batting for an entire inning, here their goal is simply to score a run. Once a run is scored the next player takes their inning at bat. Play will continue in this fashion until only a single player remains, the Kumite Champion!

The Kumite Champion is encouraged to let out a shirtless Kumite Champion’s Scream.

For those interested in the nitty-gritty rules details, you can find them below:

Tapey Beercone Kumite Ground Rules:

    Elimination Rules:

      • All players competing in the Kumite must start the event by drinking a beer
      • After being charged with an out, that player must finish a beer or produce the evidence of a previously finished but un-credited beer or be eliminated from the tournament.
      • Outs are charged to the player that is put out. In the event of a force out on the bases, the runner is charged with the out, not the batter.
      • If a ghost runner is put out, the out is charged to the batter.
      • During the Initial Stage, if 5 runs are scored consecutively without an out, all defensive players are charged with one out.
      • At any time during the Kumite, if a batter records a Home Run, by scoring a run during their own at bat, all defensive players are charged with one out. (The Gambler Clause allows this rule to apply the entire tournament)
      • At any time during the Kumite, if a batter records a Grand Salami, every other participant is charged with a number of outs that would reduce them to one out remaining, but every participant must be charged with at least one out. Thus players with only one out prior to the Grand Salami will be eliminated.
      • All beer fouls will result in an immediate three out elimination charged against the offending player.

    Initial Stage:

      • The Kumite begins with players randomly divided into two or more sides. Sides will be apportions such that no side starts with more than 7 players.
      • Play begins under last inning rules with sides taking turns on offense and defense. If there are more than two sides, additional sides alternate in and out of play.
      • Once players are eliminated, if at the start of a completely new inning (not a partial inning) the sides are uneven by more than one player, or if the reduced player count would allow for a reduction in the number of sides, the sides will be re-chosen at random.
      • Once there are only five players remaining in the event, play will immediately stop and enter the Final Stage.

    Final Stage:

      • Each player takes turns batting in a complete inning under Icelandic Rules, until they score a run or are eliminated.
      • Players are ordered by number of remaining outs, with fewest remaining batting first. Players tied in number of remaining outs determine their order by Rock-Paper-Scissors.
      • Pitching follows Icelandic Rules with every player rotating through as pitcher for a single at bat in order.
      • The last player to avoid elimination is crowned the Kumite Champion!.

    Additional Rules:

    • If at any time during play there are fewer than 4 players on a side, eliminated players will be used as additional fielders so that there will be at least 3 fielders in addition to the pitcher. Eliminated players are not allowed to pitch at any time.
    • To avoid baserunning shenanigans performed to trick other baserunners into making an out and that would make a travesty of the competition, once a baserunner vacates a base, they give up rights to that base to all trailing runners.

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