Stat Chug: There is No Such Thing as an “Average” Tapey Beercone Batter

Stat Chug: A specially brewed stats based draft.

There is No Such Thing as an “Average” Tapey Beercone Batter: How the uniqueness of the Tapey Beercone player base means no one is average.

Tapey Beercone has been chugging along for nearly 10 years now, and for the majority of that time detailed statistics have been kept on the games that have been played and the players that have played in them. In total, over two thousand individual plate appearances have been logged, and from those a clear and stable image has been deduced as to what average batting looks like in the sport of Tapey Beercone.

    An Average Batter:

  • Has a batting average just north of .600.
  • Reaches base safely about two-thirds of the time
  • Slugs somewhere just south of .800.
  • Drinks at a rate of about seven beers per six inning game.

There’s only one problem: There isn’t a player in the annals of Tapey Beercone that fits this description.
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Stat Chug: The Five Runs Plus Outs Limit and Its Effect on the Game

Stat Chug: A specially brewed stats based draft.

The Five Runs Plus Outs Limit and Its Effect on the Game: How the Rule Limits Run Scoring and More

Of the many rules Tapey Beercone adopts by way of Piney Pinecone a very prominent statute is the Five Runs Plus Outs Limit Rule. The rule is stated thusly:

Article III: Gameplay Section A: Inning
… A half inning ends when any of the following occur:
-When the third out of any inning is recorded.
-When a sum total of 5 runs and outs are reached and it is not the last inning and a Grand Salami has not been recorded in the half inning.
-When a sum total of 8 runs and out is reached and it is not the last inning.

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Stat Chug: Searching for a Drinking to Batting Ability Link

Stat Chug: A specially brewed stats based draft.

Searching for a Drinking to Batting Performance Link: The quest to find the link between inebriation and batting performance.

In a Sport such as Tapey Beercone, where drinking is prevalent (in fact encouraged by the rules), it seems obvious that all of this drinking would have some effect on a player’s performance and the outcomes that player produces. A good part of what makes Chugging Percentage (CHG) such a prestigious statistic is that the components of the stat ( Batting production measured by Slugging Percentage (SLG) and Drinking Frequency measured by Beers per Inning (BPI)) are presumably not independent. The idea being that for one to remain a productive batter whilst also quaffing beer at an exceptional rate takes unique ability. Plainly put, one would expect that the relationship between batting outcomes and drinking frequency would be inversely correlated, that to drink more would on average mean to give something away as a batter. With these assumptions in mind, this author aimed to seek out this relationship with the goal being to measure it, and then with these measurements in hand create a new metric to judging the exceptional batters/drinkers who standout from the pack. What follows is a walk-through of this quest.
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Stat Chug: The Five-Run Inning

Stat Chug: A specially brewed stats based draft.

The Five-Run Innings: Do the Stats reveal the secret to reaching every offense’s goal?

In the details, Tapey Beercone is a very unique sport. In what other sport do players prepare for the game by drinking a few beers so they have the materials needed to make the ball? But if you take a few steps back, and view the game from a distance, it will look much like the other base and ball sports, such as baseball or softball. A pitcher, a batter, some fielders, and runners on the bases. It’s all pretty much what you would expect. Still, set aside the obvious equipment differences, and there and many characteristics of Tapey Beercone which are distinct from the other similar sports. One of these major differences between how Tapey Beercone is played, is the innings limit on runs and outs.
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Stat Chug: BPI, CHG, and the Origins of the Statistical Era of Tapey Beercone

Stat Chug: A specially brewed stats based draft.

Beers Per Inning, Chugging Percentage, and the Origins of the Statistical Era of Tapey Beercone.

It was in the run up to the Season 3 opening series at Hell Hole that we first began a serious discussion about recording statistics during games. Not just winners and losers, and game scores as had been done in past seasons, but much more rigorous play-by-play statistics. This wasn’t unprecedented, way back during the Piney Pinecone Days at Jim Siemens Field, there was a concerted, though ultimately fruitless, attempt to record statistics during those games. We talked about how we could do it: how would we record, and more importantly what would we record? Simply hits versus outs?, or could we record all the basic play outcomes from baseball? (1B, 2B, 3B, etc.) Then it hit us: What about recording beers? It was with that thought that we knew stats needed to become a thing!
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