Stat Chug: There is No Such Thing as an “Average” Tapey Beercone Batter

Stat Chug: A specially brewed stats based draft.

There is No Such Thing as an “Average” Tapey Beercone Batter: How the uniqueness of the Tapey Beercone player base means no one is average.

Tapey Beercone has been chugging along for nearly 10 years now, and for the majority of that time detailed statistics have been kept on the games that have been played and the players that have played in them. In total, over two thousand individual plate appearances have been logged, and from those a clear and stable image has been deduced as to what average batting looks like in the sport of Tapey Beercone.

    An Average Batter:

  • Has a batting average just north of .600.
  • Reaches base safely about two-thirds of the time
  • Slugs somewhere just south of .800.
  • Drinks at a rate of about seven beers per six inning game.

There’s only one problem: There isn’t a player in the annals of Tapey Beercone that fits this description.
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News: Annals Updated with June Game Log and Stats plus New Field

Early this month an exciting game of Tapey Beercone transpired at New Gordon Field. The game was an exemplary display of great Tapey Beercone play featuring fantastic defensive plays, all around great offensive, and plentiful drinking. Two players reached the 2.0 CHG benchmark, and for the first time at New Gordon Field an Outside the Park Home Run was hit. To top it all, the game also featured the coronation of a new Beerpope!
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Photos from The Ranch, June 2018

During a brief trip to The Ranch, Buckos Chris, Kelly, and Richard accompanied by Gerry “The Stud” played an abbreviated, yet exciting, game of Tapey Beercone at Sun-Scorched New Gordon Field.

Below you can view photos from the album or head directly to the album.

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From the Annals: Game of Kings, but not Kegs

Tapey Beercone is the self-evident and undisputed Game of Kings, at least within the Buckos Nation. Also self-evident is the fact that to play Tapey Beercone you need beer. Specifically you need beer in the form of beer canned in aluminum, otherwise there’d be no ball. But beer comes in many other forms too: the glass bottle, the growler, and larger still, the keg.
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7 for 7: #Beerpope

#Beerpope, a moment that made a Beerpope.

Tradition. Tapey Beercone is steeped in it. Since the first aluminum cans were wrapped in duct tape, the sport has held to a vast array of traditions. One needs only peruse the Official Rules finding there is literally a section titled “Traditions”, as evidence of how deeply traditions are held in the sport. More broadly, the entirely of Articles IV and V on Ground Rules and Sportsmanship codify many of the sport’s most deeply held rituals and conventions. However, the vast majority of these traditions are not founded in Tapey Beercone alone, but stretch out universally into the customs of the Buckos Nation at large. Some, such as naming each new field, or the Testicle Bill of Rights, owe their creation to Piney Pinecone. Still others, such as the playing of the Buckos National anthem or resolving disputes by Rock-Paper-Scissors are carryovers from Buckos culture in general. Not simply a part of the sport, they are traditions held across all aspects of life in the Buckos Nation. Rare is the tradition rooted in the game’s founding itself.
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