To The Board of Regents and the Player’s Association at Large,
Allow this letter to serve as my formal nomination of Jim “The Colonel” for the Season 6 Jim Siemens Award of Excellence. Over the course of the season, Jim’s feats on the field, and his contributions to the game off of it, make him a worthy candidate for the Jim Siemens Award.
“The Colonel” is an enthusiastic participant in Tapey Beercone and he was a frequent participant at the Sport’s major events. He hosted and played in both Tapey Beercone Opens, and he was one of the few California residents who made the trek to Oregon for the Pandemic Edition Oregon Tapey Beercone Invitational. Jim is also the only player, aside from the writer, who competed in all three Kumites held to date. During all these events, Jim’s play on the field, both as a batter and pitcher was consistently above average, and his drinking kept pace with the best. This made him a high draft pick, and a valuable teammate. His record of consistent success and participation at the Sport’s most prestigious events is nearly unmatched this season.
While he was a Season 4 rookie, Season 6 marked Jim’s debut in Buckos League play, which he made under the lights at Volcano Stadium. He pitched to a complete game victory without walking a batter, and he induced some of the weakest contact, as measured by Expected Isolated Slugging (xISOBIP), of any pitcher. He ended the season with the lowest seasonal xISOBIP in Tapey Beercone History. Jim also batted well, hitting .727, making him just one of five players to break .700 this season, and he ran the bases error free. Jim rounded out his excellent play by drinking to a 2.00 BPI, one of just four players to reach this mark for the season, his rBPI of 1.74 was good for 4th highest. His Chugging Percentage of 1.455 was also forth best making him one of just two players to appear in the top four on both leaderboards. Few players have hit the ground running in Buckos league this well, but for “The Colonel” it’s just another example of what a spectacular season he has had.
If the Buckos League is his future, where “The Colonel” cut his teeth as a player was in the Lotus league, a league he helped to found, and which has played games consistently since 2018. During Season 6, Jim helped keep this tradition going, by scheduling games and cultivating an active player base. Jim is one of the few players outside the Regents of Tapey Beercone who has become a driver of organic growth within the Sport, and with Jim’s help many more players were exposed to the Game of Kings this season. Much like his performance at other venues, Jim excelled in the Lotus league. In 2019 he captained him team to victory while Slugging .900, and in 2020 although coming in a losing effort he accomplished his greatest feat of the season.
It was in the top of the sixth and last inning, with the based loaded and his team already trailing by 3 runs. Jim was already 18 beers deep on his way to breaking the all-time record by consuming 19 beers for the game. Even under such self-inflicted, inebriated duress, Jim had the faculties to make an off the bat reaction followed by a diving catch on a well struck ball rescuing his pitcher and keeping his team’s comeback hopes alive. This amazing effort led to Jim being coronated Beerpope Colonel I, making him just the third non-Regent to ascend to this hallowed position.
No matter how one slices it, no matter what elements of the Sport ones prioritizes in their determination of excellence this season, “The Colonel” checks every box. He was an active player all season, at the Majors, Buckos league, and a league of his own. He accrued wins and accomplishments while exhibiting proficiency in every element of the game. And he was coronated Beerpope after breaking the single game beer drinking record. Jim “The Colonel” would be a deserving recipient of the Jim Siemen’s Award of Excellence.
Kelly “The Coach”