BREAKING NEWS!! – Two Beerpopes Coronated in Historic First!

During a rare three game Tapey Beercone series held at The Ranch to commemorate Beerpope Day, history was made made when not one, but two Beerpopes where coronated during the weekend!

Pope Reverend II “The Reluctant” sitting in foul ground after being repositioned by his teammates.

First Richard “The Reverend” was named Pope Reverend II “The Reluctant” during Game 1 of the series. “Rev” had attempted to reclaim the record for most beers consumed in a single contest, a record recently taken from him by then Beerpope Colonel I. “The Reverend” was well ahead of pace and on track to drink his way back into the Sport’s Annals, but he flew too close to the sun. Becoming placidly drunk in the mid-innings, he could neither hit nor field. As a last straw, “The Reverend” failed to run out a ground ball force out leading to an inning ending double play. After reluctantly taking the crown, Pope Reverend II set up shop on a 5 gallon bucket near third base, before being permanently moved by his teammates to foul territory where he sat out the remainder of the contest.

Pope Reverend II “The Reluctant” performed multiple bowel evacuation miracles…

The following day it as the “Rooster’s” turn. Hopped up on adrenalin, alcohol, and more supplements than a GNC outlet, Chris “The Rooster” become recklessly drunk with an intensity few have ever witnessed. Shedding his clothing and shoes to stave off overheating due to his increased metabolism, “The Rooster” would sustain multiple injuries while laying his body on the line to make plays in the outfield. This culminated in a fruitless attempt to rob a home run by diving headlong into a bramble patch to try to make a catch. After a lengthy rescue by his teammates, “The Rooster” was coronated Pope Rooster IV “The Berserker”.

The coronation of Pope Rooster IV “The Berserker”

This becomes the first time in the sports Annals where two Beerpopes have been coronated during the same series, and it makes Pope Reverend II “The Reluctant” the shortest reigning Beerpope in the History of the Beer Papacy. This comes on the heels on the coronation of Beerpope Colonel I, just two weeks earlier, making his reign the second shortest. Lastly, this solidifies “The Rooster” as the most frequent Beer Pope having now been chosen a forth time where as only two other have been so blessed more than once!

Pope Rooster IV “The Berserker” continued to play game naked, barefoot and with the same reckless abandon ever after he was coronated.


Author: Commissioners Office

The Office of the Commissioners of Tapey Beercone.

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